Strength in Defeat

"You may encounter many defeats, but you must not be defeated. In fact, it may be necessary to encounter the defeats so you can know who you are, what you can rise from, how you can still come out of it." – Maya Angelou

Maya Angelou's words resonate deeply, especially for women navigating the often tumultuous paths of personal and professional life. Failure can feel like an insurmountable setback in a world that frequently equates success with perfection and expects women to "do it all." However, failure is not an endpoint but a crucial part of the journey toward growth, self-care, and holistic well-being. Through the stories of a few of this year's Olympians, we learn that failure and hardship, when embraced as opportunities, can lead to transformative success that goes way beyond the competition. 

Simone Biles, The Greatest Gymnast of All Time

Simone Biles, widely regarded as one of the greatest gymnasts of all time, faced a highly publicized moment of vulnerability during the Tokyo 2020 Olympics. She withdrew from several events, citing her mental health and safety. The world gasped as she put her well-being before her medals and fame. 

Confidence Through Self-Awareness

Biles' decision was not just about stepping back; it was about recognizing the limits of her mental and physical health at that time. This awareness is crucial for building true confidence. Instead of pushing through at the expense of her well-being, she chose to prioritize her mental health. For many women, prioritizing self-care over societal expectations can be a powerful lesson in self-confidence. Focusing on your mental health reinforces your confidence and helps you make better decisions.

Coping Mechanisms for Longevity

After her withdrawal, Biles focused on developing and reinforcing her coping mechanisms. Working with mental health professionals, she cultivated tools to manage the pressures of competition and life beyond gymnastics. This approach helped her return to the competition and win three gold medals in the Paris 2024 Olympics and highlighted the importance of emotional health and long-term wellness. If you face mental challenges, draw from Biles' example to use effective coping mechanisms for resilience and sustained success. 

Try some of these coping mechanisms for anxiety and stress:

• Relaxation: Try breathing exercises, meditation, stretching, yoga, muscle relaxation exercises, or prayer. You can also try listening to quiet music or spending time in nature.
• Self-care: Take care of your physical health and get enough sleep. Eat a healthy diet, drink more water, and avoid substance use.
• Connect with others: Talk to someone you trust about what's making you anxious, or surround yourself with supportive family and friends.
• Unplug: Make time to unwind, adopting an intentional mindset when unplugging. Engage in hobbies or creative projects that help you forget your day's stresses.
• Challenge your thoughts: Question the validity of your thoughts and reframe them toward something more useful. For example, instead of thinking, "I'm so bad at public speaking," you could try thinking, "I'm not as skilled at public speaking as I am at other things, but I will set a goal for myself to practice and learn new techniques to improve."

Ilona Maher, U.S. Rugby Player and TikTok Star

Ilona Maher, an outstanding U.S. women's rugby team player, is a prominent advocate for body positivity and mental health. She uses her platform to inspire women to embrace their bodies and find strength in their unique attributes. However, her journey has been challenging, including setbacks in her rugby career and body-shaming trolls on social media.

Advocacy for Body Positivity

Maher's advocacy for body positivity stems from her experiences as an athlete who doesn't fit the traditional mold. She has used social media to challenge stereotypes and promote a healthy, realistic image of being an athletic and attractive woman. Through humor, authenticity, and openness, Maher has connected with women worldwide, encouraging them to embrace their bodies and prioritize their well-being.

Connections that Endure Through Challenges

While Maher has faced injuries and competition for her spot on the national team, her biggest challenge has been overcoming the stereotype that athletic women cannot be feminine. After hearing negative remarks about her appearance, she posted a candid video saying, "There will always be negative people out there. And they put women in a box. And they think women should be fragile and petite and quiet and meek. But that's not the case." Her ability to maintain and strengthen her connections with teammates, fans, and the broader community sets her apart through these challenges. By focusing on the relationships that have supported her during tough times, Maher not only led the USA Women's Rugby team to their first-ever Olympic medal but has also cultivated a network of resilience and encouragement vital to her continued success.

Here are some ways to overcome body shaming stereotypes:

• Educate yourself: Learn about weight shaming and identify your own biases.
• Focus on health: Shift your focus from weight to health and fitness.
• Be inclusive: Support people and businesses that are anti-shame and show diversity.
• Avoid body talk: Never comment on other people's bodies, even if it's intended to be positive.
• Practice self-love: Replace negative self-talk with positive affirmations and identify non-physical characteristics you like about yourself. You can also try writing down things your body does that you're grateful for in a journal.
• Find community support: Reach out to someone you trust for guidance and support, or find a community that can help you accept yourself.
• Model positive behavior: Teach children that people have value and deserve respect regardless of their body shape or size. You can also encourage your teens to have unfiltered conversations with you about their body image.

Sha'Carri Richardson, The Fastest Woman in the World

Sha'Carri Richardson captured the world's attention with her electrifying speed and vibrant personality. However, her disqualification from the Tokyo 2020 Olympics due to a positive marijuana test was a crushing blow that threatened to derail her rising career. Instead of letting this setback define her, Richardson showed resilience and grit, which became the cornerstones of her inspiring comeback.

Zeal in the Face of Adversity

Richardson met her setback with an unyielding spirit, refusing to be sidelined by the controversy. Rather than retreating, she channeled her passion for the sport into rigorous training and self-improvement. This zeal wasn't just about proving others wrong; it was about proving to herself that she could rise above adversity. Her dedication to her craft saw her refine her technique, build her mental toughness, and push her physical limits further than ever before.

Determination as a Driving Force

Richardson's determination was evident in every step of her journey back to the track. With her eyes firmly set on the future, she focused on the possibilities ahead. This determination was not about dwelling on the past but creating a new narrative for herself—one where she was in control. Her relentless pursuit of excellence led to her remarkable performance at the Paris 2024 Olympics, where she won gold and silver medals, showing the world that her spirit was unbreakable.

Here are some ways to develop both resilience and determination:

• Have a growth mindset: Believe in your ability to learn new things, develop new skills, and adapt to new situations.
• Be optimistic: Focus on the positive aspects of a situation instead of the negative.
• Commit to goals and set your intention: Commit to a specific goal or identity, such as a professional position or set of ideals and beliefs. Set your intention by journaling or meditation to bring your desires into reality.
• Build relationships: Cultivate strong bonds with family and friends to whom you can open up.
• Take action: Don't ignore problems, but instead figure out what you need to do, make a plan, and take action.

Every failure is an opportunity

Prioritizing mental and emotional health is not a sign of weakness but a foundation for sustained achievement. This underscores the importance of integrating self-care into daily life. Whether through therapy, meditation, physical activity, or simply setting boundaries, taking care of yourself is essential for long-term well-being and success. The most rewarding success comes from a place of balance, where mental, physical, and emotional health are all prioritized. 

These stories offer powerful lessons in harnessing failure as a tool for growth. By focusing on continuous improvement, identifying areas of promise, and caring for our holistic well-being, we can turn our setbacks into stepping stones toward a more fulfilling and successful life.

So, as you reflect on your own experiences, remember that each failure is an opportunity. Embrace the journey, take care of yourself, and know that success is not just about achieving your goals—it's about the person you become along the way.

Photo credits: 

Lighting the Torch, Alkis Konstantinidis/Reuters
Failure Success, the blowup on Unsplash
Simone Biles, Simon Bruty/Sports Illustrated
Ilona Maher, CNN/Getty Images
Sha'Carri Richardson, Jabin Botsford/The Washington Post